Anal Don’ts

I didn’t want to do a list of do’s and don’ts so I made a list of don’ts…just don’t.
OK, first, I have it on good authority that you shouldn’t flex when you have your dick in a woman’s ass. I’m betting size is a factor but..just don’t.
Second! Don’t just shove it in. Unless you like a reactionary kick to the junk or throat punch. Work up to that shit; this isn’t porn. 
Also, don’t expect me to stay down there and eat your ass when it smells like ass. I’m not asking for rose scented but come on dude, scrub that asshole!
And finally, don’t freak out if you get a little shit on your dick. I honestly don’t know if I’ve ever left anything behind, if so the guys have never reacted. The anal I’ve had is also usually spontaneous so it’s not like I’ve prepared it for you.
Well that’s all I’ve got for you. I feel like I have no ending for this and wish I had a catch phrase like Matt Bellasai.